3 Conversations & 3 Lessons
I had 3 illuminating conversations with some special people in my life in regards to self advocation, willingness and new beginnings. This is my reflection on the life lessons..
Over the past few months I’ve had 3 really important conversations with 3 important people in my life in moments where I felt like I was in a minor crossroad or avenue of growth. After some pondering and letting the dust.. erm I mean.. glitter settle, this is me spewing out my takeaways…
LESSON 1: SHOW UP & SHOW OUT LOUD
When I think about my dreams and my goals, and even the things I have achieved, I think it's a magical mix of good luck, hard work, universal alignment, and God's blessings. In 2021, I began my training with the School of Embodied Arts to be a certified embodiment coach, received my certificate in 2022, and launched my website thereafter. While working a full time job, and co-creating a podcast, I wasn't sure of the possibilities, of how I would go about getting clients, or if I even had the capacity to!
I had a little shower thought in my head while pondering some ideas.. “Could you imagine if I contacted the school and did some apprenticeship with them, or job shadowed them, did volunteer work and then one day maybe I'd work for the school.. Far-fetched thought but let's entertain it”. And I indeed entertained the heck out of that thought until I was ready to put that wishful thinking away. I continued to show up in my work, in the podcast, my social media presence, tried my best to show up for myself and my loved ones by living through an embodied lens.. and BOOM, the magic happened, the opportunity appeared. I check my email to see that the SOEA is hiring. OMG! I applied for the open role and shawwtyyyy you're reading the words of a member of the SOEA teaching team! I'll be in disbelief about this for the rest of my life!! But, I am also a firm believer that this is luck, blessings, and willing a thought into existence. When interviewing, the founder of the school said she has been witnessing the way I show up in the podcast, and on my website (which to me I feel only my mother looks at) and that was an eye opener to me. You truly never know who is watching you show up, so just be consistent!
I was having a chat with my long time bestie and as I was sharing this experience with her, she was excited for me. Her motto in life is ‘YES. DO IT’. Literally... for everything… hahaha. She has this boss babe go getter energy and attitude which even coined her the nickname ‘baby shark’ at work (iconic). If there’s one thing she does, it’s show up, ALL OUT for herself in the way she advocates for herself, her beliefs, and she sure as heck knows her worth. To her, my experience of getting this job felt like it was meant to be and made sense for me; but all the little limited beliefs that I had to work through in knowing I deserved this and can earn this position could have potentially stunted my growth. But I channelled my inner bestie and showed up for myself! My takeaway from this experience is that some of the pieces show up, a thought, a call out, but the rest is my desire to show up for me. Whether or not I got the job, I acted like it was mine (no arrogance, just slight delusional behavior :P ) and I think it's so important to know your strengths and show up for yourself! If you don't.. who will!?
LESSON 2: WILLINGNESS CARRIES MORE WEIGHT THAN YOUR CREDENTIALS
This saying of 'if he/she/they wanted to, he/she/they would’ has been heavily showing up in my algorithm of life in the past few months. Mainly in the context of how people will show up in romantic relationships ex. A man wanted to see you and be with you, he would make the effort and do the damn thing and show up and adorn the gal. As simple as this is to understand from a romantic sense (which I’ve witnessed so I know it’s true), I feel there's something about this saying that goes beyond and into a larger scope of a vantage point of being a willing participant to fully experience life's lessons.
This lesson stems from a conversation I had with my mom (ok to be fair it was me going on a Ted talk rampage in the kitchen while she ‘mhm’d!’ in agreement), where I was venting about acquaintances who’ve crossed paths with me in life who have stated that they want to meet their future hubby or wifey or partner and yet they don’t make any actions towards showing up for themselves, or showing up AS someone’s life partner.
Hiding or distancing yourself from an opportunity because you’re too complacent in your habitual way of being isn’t going to create the change you want to see – point blank. Even if you have a dream goal or desire a certain job, you have to open yourself up to the opportunity, let the intention set you on a path with more clarity, but you still have to ‘dress for the job you want’. This sense of willingness can really open the possibilities up for you and free the mental limitations and barriers one places upon themselves. If I tell myself I can’t run 5k, well guess what, I’m never going to be able to if my mental mindset limits my physical abilities.
This is not necessarily about deliberate positive self talk, but mainly about this concept of how when you’re willing to, you will. If someone is willing to show up for you, that’s key. If you’re willing to show up for you, to show up beyond yourself for your community, with persistence and resilience, you will. And that’s how you win. So seriously, don’t say you want XYZ but then you act like ABC. Where’s the alignment pal!? Pfttttt!
LESSON 3: IF YOU’RE BRAVE ENOUGH TO SAY GOODBYE, LIFE WILL REWARD YOU WITH A NEW HELLO
Just the other day my friend who is like a little sister to me, and I were having a meal and chatting about what’s at the forefront of our lives. She expressed that a previous romantic interest in her life reached out to inform her that he’s interested in a new girl. So naturally the primal protective instinct in me is ready to fight the dude because ok?? What’s your point?? Leave her alone!? Lol!? I asked her how she feels about the situation, and she said that she naturally feels emotional but at the same time the essence of freedom, a weight lifted off her shoulders, and that she can now give herself the permission to move forward.
When these entanglements and connections are so strong and intertwined in our lives, it can be challenging to move forward; we meet people in life and naturally they leave their mark on us, which is what creates our mosaic of a human experience. We logically know that change means growth, for the better in this case, and I was thrilled for her while also leaning into the sentiments. We contemplated the possibilities of newness in where the mental energy can go to and how this is such a new door opening experience.
This then opened up the space for me to express some of the changes in my life in regards to my circle, my goals, and where I’m feeling a calling to take a next step with how I choose to spend my personal time. In some of the sessions I’ve had with my career coach, who works with clients who are seeking the skills to perform with high priority, we’ve talked about how focusing on the gaps of your day, and not acknowledging the gains or your wins, will not lead you to a holistic vantage of your day. The facts and the feelings are so important to acknowledge. We had session where we talked about some changes I’m looking to make in my life due to a situation that no longer aligns with my values.
If I make a change, it’s scary, it’s honestly so terrifying, because it means I’m letting go of a part of me that I also kind of hold on to as my current identity… (more on detachment at another time…) but to me, what’s more terrifying is living with regret and resentment for not advocating for yourself, for not being authentically you, and for holding onto something that’s past it’s due date. Sometimes it’s hard to see the bigger picture when we focus on what we have to let go of, whether it’s a relationship, a role we play in someone’s life, or a situation.. because as humans the goals is to be present and trust the rest, so this was a huge reminder to us both - to just trust that we will respectively be rewarded with a new hello.
Overall, these 3 conversations, these 3 lessons all sum up to one big theme…
Change is inevitable, change is growth, and change is beautiful when handled with grace. When we show up and show out loud, there’s a shift in how we view ourselves and how the world views us in return. When we act with the intention of willingness, opportunities unfold. When you’re brave enough to say goodbye, life rewards you with several hellos and avenues to explore. The feelings around these changes and the limits we place on ourselves, our community places on us, that society or generational mindsets bestow on us, are meant to be questioned, to be unraveled, and sat with, to be understood, and slowly loosened to be made free and feel free.
